“I’m not happy with my upline; He always tells me to change

“I’m not happy with my upline; he always tells me to change. What should I do?”

1. See the Call for Change as an Opportunity, Not an Insult

When your upline repeatedly tells you to change, it’s easy to feel criticized, rejected, or demotivated. But step back and look at it differently: what if it’s not criticism, but coaching?

Sometimes, those who push us the most are the ones who see our potential the most.

Example: Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam

When Dr. Kalam was working with ISRO, one of his senior mentors told him, “Your technical knowledge is great, but you lack presentation and leadership skills.”

Did Kalam get upset? Yes, a little. But instead of resisting the feedback, he worked on those exact areas.

He became not just a top scientist, but one of India’s most inspiring Presidents.

Lesson: Don’t reject your upline’s words emotionally. Instead, ask yourself:

“Is this advice meant to hurt me or help me grow?”

You might realize – it’s the latter.

2. Reflect Deeply – Is There Truth in the Feedback?

Take an honest look at yourself. Is there a pattern in what your upline says? Are there specific behaviors you’re repeating that may be slowing you down?

Before blaming others, pause and self-reflect:

Am I being consistent in my work?

Do I show up on time?

Am I truly coachable?

Practical Tool:

Try writing this in your notebook:

3 things I do well in this business.

3 things I need to improve on.

This simple self-check can open your eyes and turn frustration into personal growth.

Story: Vivek Bindra

Early in his career, Vivek Bindra’s mentor told him, “You love to talk, but you don’t always implement.”

He was hurt at first—but then he realized it was true. He turned that feedback into action and today, he’s one of the most powerful motivational speakers in India.

Lesson: Growth begins the moment you accept truth, even if it stings.

3. Growth Comes Through Discomfort – Criticism is a Bridge, Not a Barrier

No successful person grows in their comfort zone. Criticism is not a wall—it’s a bridge that connects where you are to where you could be.

We often like appreciation more than correction. But the truth is, appreciation feels good—but correction builds you.

Example: Mahatma Gandhi

As a young lawyer, Gandhi was told by a mentor:

“You don’t speak confidently in court. If you can’t overcome this, law is not for you.”

Gandhi didn’t quit. He practiced. He trained.

Later, the same man stood up in court to applaud Gandhi’s speeches.

Lesson: The road to leadership is paved with feedback. Don’t fear the pain of improvement.

4. Open Communication: Talk to Your Upline, Not About Your Upline

If you genuinely feel your upline is too harsh, doesn’t appreciate your efforts, or only focuses on what’s wrong—don’t stay silent. Talk to them calmly and respectfully.

Silence builds frustration. Communication builds understanding.

How to Speak Up:

Find the right time (not in the middle of a meeting or call).

Use “I” language instead of “You”:

Say, “I want to understand how I can grow better. I feel a little discouraged when it’s always about what’s missing.”

Ask: “What exactly do you think I should change? Can we work on it together?”

Story: Mukesh Ambani

When Mukesh was being trained by Dhirubhai Ambani, he often got scolded for being too cautious.

One day he asked, “What are you seeing that I’m not?”

That question opened a dialogue that shaped Mukesh’s leadership mindset—and today he leads Reliance with vision and clarity.

Lesson: One honest conversation can transform your relationship—and your results.

Final Words: Don’t Let Ego Block Your Growth

If your upline keeps asking you to change, it could mean:

They see more in you than you see in yourself.

They are pushing you out of your comfort zone so you can fly.

Or they may need help improving how they communicate feedback.

Either way, you win when you:

Listen openly

Reflect honestly

Respond wisely

And speak respectfully

Key Takeaways:

Feedback is a gift, not a punishment. Open it with grace.

Self-reflection turns frustration into fuel.

Growth isn’t always comfortable—but it’s always worth it.

Talk to your upline, not about your upline.

Remember this quote:

> “A coach is someone who tells you what you don’t want to hear,

shows you what you don’t want to see,

so you can become who you always wanted to be.” — Tom Landry

So the next time your upline says, “You need to change,”

Don’t roll your eyes.

Smile—and say, “Thank you. Let’s grow together.”

Regards,